1. To discover your current shadow trait ask yourself these questions…
- What is your best trait? What is the opposite of this trait?
- What’s the worst thing someone could call you?
- Are there any traits that you are absolutely not?
- What traits do you hate the most in others?
- What’s the worst thing that could be written about you?
The answer to one of these questions will lead you to the traits you are judging in yourself and others that are holding you back right now. If you have a charge around any trait you are most likely struggling to avoid it in an extreme way that is creating an overall imbalance. To know whether something is a shadow trait, see if you feel sick, angry or charged at the thought of someone calling you that trait or of you saying “I am ____(the trait)”. If you have a charge, you are likely avoiding and judging that aspect. You will see the shadow trait in everyone around you. You will see it in everyone but yourself and you will view yourself to be the opposite of the trait. You will probably overdo trying to be the opposite of that shadow trait and a lot of your problems may come from embodying the opposite trait way too much. This inevitably leads to a snap back of you embodying the shadow trait in an extreme way in short bursts. This is the pattern of the shadow trait.
2. See 3 times you’ve expressed that trait in some form
3. See 3 positive things that can come from that trait
4. See 3 times you’ve expressed that trait in a destructive way
5. What feelings drove you to express the trait in an out of balance way?
6. Forgive yourself
7. Cup your hands in front of you and imagine holding this little shadow aspect of you
- How old is it?
- How does it look?
- What does it wear?
- How does it feel?
8. Thank your shadow trait self for the positive things it brings. Recognize all the positive things it brings.
9. Love, forgive and accept it for all the times it has ever been out of balance
10. Thank it and love it. Push your hands against your heart imagining that your shadow trait self is being absorbed by your heart
11. Continue to push your hands to your heart and hold it, thank it and love it
12. State “I am ______(shadow trait)”. Own it and feel love for this self.
13. Recognize and state “I am _______(the opposite/polar trait)”. Recognize that you are both traits.
14. Recognize that you have the potential to embody all traits
15. Recognize that your true self is larger and beyond all traits
16. Breathe and experience your divine eternal self
17. Let go of all judgement and fear of disapproval connected to traits
18. Feel unconditional love for yourself
19. Surrender to your authentic self, your inner truth and your heart’s wisdom
20. This is how we live free, in bravery and truth. You are divine
Recommended Reading For More Info & Exercises For Working With The Shadow…
Debbie Ford – The Dark Side of the Light Chasers
Debbie Ford – The Secret of the Shadow